HE gives me Courage....Jamila Perry

Testament Thursday

Testament is defined as proof or to be a witness. And the month of January we will feature four individuals who are witnesses to the power and providence of God in their lives.

We are fortunate and pleased to have Jamila Perry share with us her story of losing a marriage and dealing  with the fear of never being loved again only to find true love in the most obvious place.
 Our hope is that her story of love lost inspires you
to have the courage to LOVE again.

HE gives me Courage....
Last night I watched a popular movie, one that I have seen many times. However, this time a particular scene really struck me. In the scene one of the main characters performed a spoken word piece about the courage to love. As she said the words, tears filled my eyes.

It takes courage to love again. When you've been hurt.
It takes pain and strength again
to pack it all away.
Somewhere, in all the pain,
someone has to have the courage
to be okay.
He gives me courage
to Love.
(Excerpt, Madea's Family Reunion)

I know all too well about this courage it takes to love...again. Actually, I probably know more about the fear that exists which summons the courage. Like many women (I speak from the perspective of a woman because I am one) I've been hurt, abused, misused, and tossed aside at some point in my life. Four years ago, I went through a divorce. I must admit it was one of the hardest things I've been through in my adult life. Despite all of my professional accomplishments that were occurring simultaneously, I felt like a failure. People like to compare a breakup to a divorce but there is something different when you make a covenant with another and GOD. When it ended I felt such a huge sense of disappointment, loss, and shame. I felt like I let myself, my family, and more importantly God down when it ended. It took many years and lots of prayer, but today I'm much stronger. It is a daily walk, but I thank God for the lessons. Often in the midst of pain we focus on the pain or the tragedy and not the lesson or the grace of God. We often look at life through our human eyes and not our spiritual eyes. God says, there is nothing the believer can do to separate themselves from His love. God says in your weakness, I am made strong. God says, all things work together for good for those that love God and are called according to his purpose. God says, I love those who love me. There is NO greater love than the love of our God. Yet, I also believe God placed us on earth, in relationship with one another, to be an EXTENSION of HIS love. Despite all the pain, mistakes, and shame of the past I was blessed most recently with a love, that I once believed was out of my reach. A love that I once believed I didn't deserve, couldn't happen for me, or was unrealistic. Through introspection, prayer, faith, family, and friends the dark veil of shame lifted and I began to see myself how God sees me. Despite it all, HE loved me. Who was I not to love myself or to feel unworthy of love?

When watching the movie, hearing the poem, my initial response was to think of my Love, my man. Because yes, he does give me courage to love. His patience, kindness, compassion, and unconditional love have given me courage. Why? He is an extension of God's love. "love is patient, love is kind..." When I really reflected on the poem, the "HE" that gives me courage to love is my Father, my Redeemer, the first to ever love me...God.

If you are going through, have gone through, or if you eventually experience heart break, I pray you know God's love. Let it strengthen you to maintain the Courage to love AND be loved.

LOVE..."...it always protects, always hopes, always trusts, always perseveres. Love never fails"

When in doubt, I encourage you to reflect on these scriptures:
1 Corinthians 13:5-8, Romans 8:37-39, Ephesians 2:4-5, 1 John 4:7-8, 1 Peter 5:6-7

Be Blessed!

◊You can read more inspiring and encouraging blogs by Jamila on her blog Beauty for Ashes.◊

If you have enjoyed this Testament...please consider passing the LOVE!