"Happy Non-Mother's Day"

It is Mother's Day and we are celebrating Mother's of all kinds on today. But this day for many is a reminder of what we do not have. For some, a mother may be deceased or have not been in their lives or they have never known the joys of motherhood because of infertility, miscarriage, infant loss or other life issues. I am a member of one of these not so famous and less celebrated clubs. I have not experienced the joys of motherhood. 

Mother's Day has grown to be a very difficult time for me. Yes, I receive the one or two texts from those who know personally my struggle with conceiving offering prayers of a future seed. I am a first time Godmother and I am able to enjoy my new Godbaby, and each year my beautiful niece who I help raise from infancy always sends me her love and appreciation during this time. I am so appreciative for these gestures of love and encouragement. But deep within the recesses of my soul, when I see all the pictures of the homemade Mother's Day cards from the little ones, the rose dedication in churches and read the "being part of the elite club Motherhood statuses" it is a reminder that my desire has not yet manifested after nine years. And that's when then the thoughts of what I do not have pull me into a pit of despair and depression and I begin to wonder why God hasn't allowed me entrance into that elite club. This year, it has become somewhat harder to put on that face that we often put on when we are trying to be happy for others. Why? Because my biological clock is ticking overtime. This is my last year on the 3rd floor, my 40's is less than a year away and according to everything that the world says, my chances for entrance into this elite club is getting smaller and smaller with each passing year. 

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So today, as many celebrate their membership in this elite club, I want to send a word of encouragement to those who have not enjoyed the joys of carrying life at all or to full term, or do not have a mother present in their life or who does not have a living mother to share this day with. You are not alone. Know my spiritual sisters in faith that we are not bitter or covetous or envious. The day is simply a reminder of unfulfilled longings, desires and wants. This club that we are in may not be celebrated with a day but we know a God that offers hope and comfort doing these times of despair and loneliness and He always shows us that we are valued and worth being celebrated. Christ dedicated his entire ministry to hurting and broken souls and He offered a welcoming place of rest and nourishment. Today, rest in his bosom and receive healing for that place of despair as I am doing today. I am taking a moment to allow God to speak to my soul and fill me with His spirit so that I can better understand this journey that I am on as I know that this  journey is not for me but for someone else. Take this opportunity to feel the feelings but don't stay there. Begin to change your perspective and see where you can fill the void that you feel in someone else's life or how you can be of encouragement to someone in your "club".

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And  I challenge those that are part of the "elite club called Motherhood" to remember someone like me, someone you know in my club. A sister in faith that is battling infertility, or has lost a mother and has never known the joy of celebrating a Mother's Day with a living mother, or a sister in faith that is battling never having a mother in her life. Let's not get so wrapped up in the day  that we forget those who are struggling to be where you are. Will you be that friend this year that remembers that friend who isn't part of your club? Maybe you haven’t battled infertility or infant loss. But surely you can understand how painful a Mother’s Day is to the woman who longs for nothing more than to be a mother or who does not have a living mother. There is so much encouragement that comes in knowing we are not forgotten, that we are not overlooked, that we are not an after thought.

Would you be that encouragement this year? That glimmer of light on an otherwise painful day? Regardless of how you do it, remember the motherless, the infertile, those who have miscarried..the non-mother.  As the world around us celebrates motherhood remember the Proverbs 31 woman needs our attention, but Hannah, the 1 Samuel 1 woman does too.

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