Living the Single Life: Seeking God's Will For Marriage

As a married woman of nine years I do not understand firsthand the struggle an unmarried person. However, I was single once and I have many friends that are single. I've had conversations at length about the challenges faced in singleness in our society. In our conversations I can sense their frustration in trying to discern "God's will" for their life concerning marriage. The Bible is clear the will for a married person, it seems self-evident. The Bible instructs him to be a faithful and loving spouse, and to raise his children in godliness. Much of a man's life becomes centered on these activities. Providing for the family, as God directs, becomes his priority. However, for a person who is  single, this question seems much more ambiguous. The question of a Christian staying single and what the Bible says about believers never marrying is often misunderstood. Apostle Paul tells us in 1 Corinthians 7:7-8: 

“I wish that all men were as I am. But each man has his own gift from God; one has this gift, another has that. Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I am.” 

Notice that he says some have the gift of singleness and some the gift of marriage. Here Paul made a choice to remain single as devoted his entire life to spreading the Word of God. Paul, did not have to worry about the extra problems and stresses that come with marriage and/or family. He devoted his entire life to spreading the Word of God. On the other hand, some people do better as a team, serving God as a couple and a family. This choice is up to the believer to remain single or be married, but both kinds of people are equally important. And if the believer chooses to remain single, it should not be viewed as a curse or an indication that there is “something wrong” with the single man or woman. While most people marry, and while the Bible seems to indicate that it is God’s will for most people to marry, a single Christian is in no sense a “second class” Christian. As 1 Corinthians 7 indicates, singleness is, if anything, a higher calling. 

But when deciding what your marital status should be, with everything else in life, you should ask God, "What is Your will for my life". We should seek wisdom concerning His plan. Following God’s plan, whether that be marriage or singleness, will result in the productivity and joy that God desires for you.  We may try to discern the hidden meaning of Bible passages, or seek direction in prayer and the leading of our heart, but without any clear guidance. We tend to think God has hidden His will for our lives, that it's a great mystery and its up to us to uncover it. Often in our haste to discover His purpose for us we try to formulate a plan and we make the choice to enter into an unordained relationship seeking physical and/or emotional needs.  Speaking from the perspective of a married person, you should make sure and be sure that the covenant relationship that you enter into is ordained and is in the will of God for your life. Entering into relationship outside God's plan for you can lead to a life filled with pain, unhappiness, loneliness, abuse and despair which may eventually lead to divorce or death.

When we seek a mate we should make sure  that it is not just a good choice, but God’s choice. And to find God's choice we should seek Him for the answer. God wants the best for us and that includes having the best mate. If we seek God and ask him to reveal His will concerning our best for marriage, He will respond.  Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will” (Romans 12:2).

Enter into Intercession to pray for "God's Plan for Marriage for You".

Intercession Prayer

Unto You, O Lord, do I bring my desire to find a godly spouse. Lord I trust in, lean on, rely on and am confident in You. Let me not be put to shame or be disappointed; let not my enemies, the spirit of rejection, hurt, inferiority, or unworthiness triumph over me. Heavenly Father, it is written, "For I know the thoughts and the plans that I have for you", says the Lord. "thoughts and plans for welfare and peace and not for evil, to give me hope and an expected end". Heavenly Father, I am looking for your plan, Your answer for my life. It is my desire to be married. But I must be sure in my decision that I am living as You intend and that I am accepting whatever situation You have put me into. According to Your Word, marriage will bring extra problems that I may not need to face at this time in my life. 

 Lord you weigh the spirits, the thoughts and the intents of the heart, therefore, I give them all to You. I ask that You cause my thoughts to be agreeable to Your will, and so shall my plans be established and succeed. Because You Lord, are my Shepherd and I have everything I need! I trust to You my life. You will give me strength and help me do what honors and glorifies You the most. Heavenly Father, help me not to be afraid, and to know that You are close beside me, guarding and guiding me all the way as I seek Your will for my life. Lord, teach me to always pray and not to faint, lose heart, or give up that I may know Your will for my life. I ask You Lord to give me strength and contentment to accept your will even if that means that it is not Your will for me to be married at this time. Teach me how to rest in the meadows grass and lead me beside the quiet streams of Your will. In Jesus Name I pray. Amen!