Marriage: The good, bad and the ugly

I had a conversation with some long time friends that are married a few weeks ago about marriage and that conversation got me to thinking about my marriage, marriage in general and everything that entails having a marriage, the good, bad and the ugly. My parents were married for over 20 years and divorced when I was eighteen. My husband and I have been married this year in July for 9 years and I have been with him for a total of 19 years. Surviving my parents divorce and with 9 years of marriage and 19 years of a relationship I must say that I have seen my fair share of the good, bad and the ugly. I know that marriage has it's good times as well as it's bad and that it is not easy to maintain or survive a marriage during the difficulties times especially in our society.  I know the only way we have survived the ebbs and flows of this journey called marriage is because we have a third person in this marriage with us. 

Marriage has become a negative term in this culture and society.  We no longer look at marriage with anticipation and joy, but with fear. People are scared that if they get married then there is the possibility of getting divorced. No, marriage does not guarantee a lifelong relationship, but neither does any relationship. Marriage was designed to be a lifelong relationship, a commitment and a covenant. The only reason it is not is because we have made it that way. We too often look for any easy way out. If we feel unhappy, then just leave. If you feel unfulfilled, then leave. If your husband makes you mad, you can just leave."

We live in a fast-food society. We want things easy and we want it now. No way we want to do anything that requires effort. We go into marriage thinking that we will have the perfect little marriage and the perfect little family in the cookie-cutter house and we will never argue and get angry. Wrong! We need to know what we are actually agreeing to. We are agreeing to stay with our spouse when things are the worst they have ever been. When they make you angry and call you names and hurt your feelings. Marriage is not a continuous date. You now get to see the good, the bad, and the ugly. I know first-hand the dangers of weak commitment in marriage.  After my husband and I were newly married, we would throw the big "D" and "S" word around.  I made choices and decisions that threatened the covenant of my marriage because of my attitude, insecurities and because I felt as though Yolanda was lost in this relationship. But we had to decide if  we wanted to be married and if we did than divorce and separation was not an option, we were then forced to work things out.

And working it out has not been an easy road. I went into surgery to battle issues with my fertility twice since we have been together, losing two grandfathers, a father and an aunt in the span of four years.  In between all of this there was job losses, which brought on money problems, confusion, miscommunication and interference from unwanted life situations. But through it all I have had to remember that I love him and I vowed to sustain through all of the good and bad times. I know that we could not have remained together without our third cord, God. I really don't know how in the world people do it without Christ, though. He has become the center of our home, and we still have days that we could really could hurt each other but with Christ as the umpire we have no choice but to see each other through His eyes. 

Hence, the key to surviving is seeing marriage and each other through God's eyes, hearing each other with God's ears, lifting each other with God's hands, encouraging each other with God's Words, and loving each other with God's heart.  Marriage is about choosing each day, each minute, to honor God with our words and actions, and in turn, we honor our spouses. Marriage was created by God for our good, for the good of our society, and for His plan to be fulfilled. It’s about companionship, pleasure, responsibility, commitment, romance, raising the next generation—the whole package. It’s the most difficult and yet the most fulfilling relationship we experience during our time on earth. And that’s why it’s worth fighting for. So, today on this Intercession Tuesday I want us to pray for troubled marriages or just marriages in general. That God will bring restoration and healing. Let's speak life and death to the issues now affecting the restoration of your marriage, and release the awesome power of God as He works to restore strengthen and heal marriages. 

Intercession Prayer

Heavenly Father, in the name of Jesus, I thank you that you will hear my prayer, for I come on the authority of your Word. I pray and confess your Word over my marriage and as I do, I use my faith, believing that Your Word will come to pass. I stand in the gap for my spouse against the devil and his demons until the salvation of God is manifested in his or her life. I confess that we will let all bitterness, indignation, wrath, rage, bad temper, resentment, abuse, evil speaking, malice, spite, ill will be banished from us. I pray that we have become helpful, kind, tenderhearted, compassionate, understanding, responsible, forgiving readily and freely as You Father, forgave me. I ask Lord that they and we walk in love, esteeming and delighting one another as Christ loved us and gave Himself up as a sacrificial offering so that I could become a sweet fragrance. 

Satan, I render you helpless in your activities in our lives. I come against the spirit of separation and divorce, and loose you from your assignment against them. Your power is broken from our marriage in the name of Jesus. Lord, I come before you humbly asking that you heal what is broken is this marriage. I rebuke the plans of the enemy to keep this family from being together. We know that satan comes to steal, kill and destroy but we stand firm and confident knowing that he has no power over You Lord Jesus. I pray deliverance from this present evil by the Son of the Living God and whom the Son sets free is free indeed. 

Help us to submit one to another as we submit ourselves to You. Heavenly may I remain self-controlled, sober minded, faithful, disciplined, because I love my spouse and my children and I commit myself to them. I pray that we are free from rejection and low self-esteem. Heavenly Father, I thank You that I will be constantly renewed in the spirit, in my mind, having fresh mental and spiritual attitude. Thank You, Father, for hearing my prayer as we strive for the love of God to reign supreme in our home, and for the peace of God to acts as a umpire in all situations. As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord. May our family know that You are Lord over our spirit, body and soul and we ask all these things in your matchless name, Jesus Christ. Amen.